The funny thing about life is that most of us don’t live it to the fullest we fear it on some level and at some point and time. We fear being vulnerable, being seen as weak, and making mistakes. We fear loving someone else, and being hurt by someone we love. We fear the future and the what if’s it holds for us?
But, how can you live if you never have experiences, issues, problems, circumstances, situations, failures, achievements and successes. We worry too much about things that haven’t happened instead of experiencing the right here and now opportunity presented to us.
Nevertheless this fear that we have trickles into every aspect of our life, but where fear rears its ugly head the most is in our relationships whether married or single. Most people don’t believe that true love exist, but that is simply because in most cases most people don’t love themselves, so how could they be expected to truly love someone else?
Then there is a rare group of the people that believe in true Love, but don’t believe it can happen for them not because they don’t know how to love themselves, but because they are afraid to open up the treasure of their heart and love another. There are only small remnants of people that believe in love and are truly in loving relationships.
So, here it is plain and simple. Fear is the only real obstacle in life that stops you from moving towards your goals and having whatever it is your desire in your life. The trick to moving towards your goals and having what you desire is to not anticipate and fear all the sometimes seemingly negative emotional experiences that you think can happen, but to stay in a loving positive state of mind with yourself and in a loving and positive state of mind about that which your desire.
There are many reasons why we fear relationships, but the source of our fear if we really look at it comes from our own mistakes. Sometimes one or both parties is not emotionally available for the other, we look for a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship or doesn’t want to be in a relationship with us and we are too stubborn and full of pride to move on, we insist on trying to change someone to fit what we want them to be, forgetting that only God can change a person. None of these are good situations, but they are the ones that most people find themselves in and they are they situations that discourage and make so many people fear relationships. True Love is possible. First, and foremost it is about loving and knowing yourself. Get to know the real YOU! Second, be very clear about what you need, expect and want from a relationship.
Third, you need to know exactly what you are capable of giving to someone else in a relationship. Fourth, always show your true self. You are more like to attract a like minded –person with the same emotional needs and wants that you have desired if your show the real you. Fifth, communicate, communicate; yes communicate. You can’t expect someone to read your mind, and you should never try to read someone else’s mind, because 9 times out of 10 you will have read it wrongly. Sixth, be understanding, considerate, patient and accepting at all times. We all have our back-stories and cases of Hollywood level drama the essential elements that make us who we are. Seventh, leave your past in the past. NO EXCESSIVE BAGGAGE. It don’t matter what the last person did to you, all that matters is the experience you are having right now. Last and certainly not least you must not be afraid, remember the Lord has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. You must fearlessly and lovingly be in your relationship. Take it one day at a time. Appreciate and learn from the moment and the future will work itself out. Trust God and trust yourself!
